Stranger Danger

By now, you've probably heard about that lost Boy Scout in Utah who was rescued earlier today after being missing for four days.

My first thought is how awlful that must have been; that poor child. Then you read the details of why it took so long to find the kid:



After reading this, I thought that kid deserved to be lost. I mean, what a dumb ass. You're out there alone, without food, cold. You hear people approaching so you get off the trail and hide? Apparently, his parents taught him something called "stranger danger".

This might be excusable if the kid was 6 or 7 years old, but this boy was 11. ELEVEN. I'm sorry, but if you lack the common sense for survival instinct, maybe nature is just weeding you out.

What an idiot. When this kid gets back to school, someone should kick his ass for being so stupid.

Men in tights

Saw Batman Begins last week. Thought it was pretty good movie, but not a great comic book movie. Which is to say, it was not entirely faithful to the material.

I know a lot of folks will say I'm being a geek; that being faithful is not that important to making a great movie. I think it's entirely important. The spirit of a comic book is what Hollywood hopes to capture.

For example, I think director Christopher Nolan glossed over the whole detective part of Batman's persona. This is a superhero who investigates and deduces. He has no superpowers, so he has to rely on his wits to solve crimes. So far, every movie carnation of the Caped Crusader has played up the gadgetry and hardware.

I also am not a fan of Batman/Bruce Wayne's whole Tibetan training program. The Batman I know learned his moves form the school of hard knocks on the streets of Gotham. This was what writer Frank Miller (Sin City, Ronin, The Dark Knight Returns) captured so well in his Batman: Year One series.

One thing that every Batman film suffers from is the lack of action when it comes to the fight scenes. It's not Hollywood's fault. Batman, unlike most superheroes, is human. He doesn't have adamantium clams, he can't shoot webs or leap tall buildings in a single bound. He doesn't engage in fisticuffs while dropping from skyscrapers. He's mortal, so his battles are all earthbound, thus, the lack of spectacle.

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Invariably, after every comic book flick that comes out, my friends and I geek out and go into "which comic film is best" discussion. I will shamefully reveal my list here:

5. X2
4. The Rocketeer
3. Spider-man
2. Superman
1. Spider-man 2

I have chosen to only include superhero films. If I included all movies based on comics, the list would include Ghost World and American Splendor.

One film not on the list is Mark Steven Johnson's Daredevil, recently released as a director's cut. I have a lot of admiration for this picture because Johnson hewed pretty closely to the source material, even duplicating shots in many scenes.

I think this movie is unfairly maligned because of Ben Affleck, who I think does an okay job of portraying the blind crimefighter. It certainly doesn't help this movie that they spun-off the terrible Elektra movie from it.

The director's cut restores a subplot, some additional violence and language. While it probably won't change anyone's mind about the movie, it's definitely a better version than the release one.

The Hedgehog

Last Friday, I tried to go see Ron Jeremy, who was making an appearance at an adult book store near the office on Broadway.

I sat at my desk contemplating whether to go. What the Hell am I going to do with Ron Jeremy's autograph? I tried to talk myself out of it, but my buddies at work were adamant. I started thinking: how many offices in the vicinity had guys just like us, psyched to see the Hedgehog (his nickname)?

Essentially, this guy is famous for fucking. And he's crossed over to the mainstream doing it. I reluctantly agreed to go. As we approached the store, we could see a long line outside. He had not arrived, but was on the way. After seeing the line, my work friends were all for bailing.

Alas, my buddy Jesse Golden did snap the photo above as Jeremy arrived.

Conquering my fears

This past weekend. I went to the start of the season at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. The weather was fabulous and the beach and boardwalk were packed.

One of the main attractions: Laffing Sal. Sal is an old coin-operated attraction from the old playland at the Beach at Ocean Beach. The Boardwalk recently bought Sal at auction and refurbished it.

Now I have no recollection of this, but my dad told me that Sal used to scare the shit out of me when i was a kid. Playland was gone, but the arcade still stood in the early 70's and apparently, I was petrified of Sal.

Who knows why... the mechanical cackling, the jovial movement of her rusty joints. She just scared the crap outta me.